To: All Staff From: Bubbish Speculative Minerals Department Subject: Employee of the Month Announcement Team, As of midnight last night, I took the bold initiative to open up voting for our firm’s “Employee of the Month.” After a highly competitive one-minute election process, I am proud to announce that I received the majority vote. Effective immediately, please refrain from parking in the first spot next to the entrance—until the official “Employee of the Month” placard is installed. This is for everyone’s safety, particularly your tires, and paint job. Thank you for your cooperation and continued admiration. Respectfully, Bubbish Employee of the Month

It has come to my attention that I have been consuming candy from the client hospitality bowl. As a reminder, that candy is reserved strictly for potential clients and strategic visitors. It is also, as most of you know, part of our behavioral transparency initiative and therefore infused with a low-grade truth serum (Laser Model TRU-3, per Procurement’s last update). Effective immediately, the candy bowl remains off-limits to staff. Let my candied ordeal stand as both warning and inspiration: honesty is powerful, unpredictable, and cherry-flavored. With valor, humility, and a faint buzzing behind the eyes, Bubbish Speculative Minerals Department

Subject: Re: Security Bulletin All, First off — tremendous job, everyone, truly inspiring to see so many of you immediately respond to what was clearly a suspicious email. That kind of enthusiasm is what keeps The Firm moving… occasionally in the wrong direction, but moving nonetheless. Now, I understand that several associates fell victim to what’s being described as a “sophisticated phishing attempt.” I prefer to think of it as a Selective Integrity Assessment, targeting only those whose commitment to “ethics” has always felt… performative. While I cannot confirm nor deny my direct involvement, I can say the message was meticulously formatted, spell-checked, and entirely consistent with The Firm’s branding — which, frankly, should count for something. Warm regards (and zero liability) Bubbish Speculative Minerals Dept. Employee of the Month

RE: Employment at The Firm Please welcome Bubbish to the Speculative Minerals Department — where our findings are uncertain, our confidence is unwavering, and our motto remains: always have an exit plan and a re-entry plan. Bubbish has been advised that both plans are often the same plan, depending on how things go

How’s business? I’m Bubbish, our newest explorer in Speculative Minerals — where we dig deep, think deeper, and never forget the golden rule: have an exit plan….and re-entry plan, and maybe a good story for HR.