Good morning team, I regret to inform you that due to unforeseen market turbulence within my personal ecosystem, I will be out of commission for approximately two and a half hours. My current mission involves conducting a full audit of the office’s artificial plant portfolio. We have credible intelligence suggesting that several of the ferns on the 37th floor have been engaging in noncompliant photosynthesis. I will be interviewing them individually to determine which are authentic assets and which are, in fact, elaborate plastic derivatives. Deborah, please ensure all internal memos referring to these plants use the term “synthetic liquidity providers” instead of “fake greens.” As for the rest of you, kindly maintain your usual level of strategic panic until further notice. Regards, Panik Director of Investment Post-Rationalization